"What?" I asked, sounding both curious and fearful.

She swivelled the wine in her glass long and hard, smelling it, looking at me intently, eyes flickering across my face.

I don't know why, but she looked stunning

then. When she was done she closed her

eyes for a moment, lifting her glass and

the corner of her mouth in a thoughtful smile

"I think you're impressive." She said, finally, and with conviction.

"I, what?" I sputtered out, surprised.

She didn't answer for a moment, instead downing her glass and crawling over to me, placing her hands on my knees and bringing her face so close our noses were practically touching. She started speaking with a slightly steely tone.

"You impress me. From what little I've heard your ex was a bitch who murdered your child before she was even born, and you're not even angry. I can see it in your eyes. You don't hate her. You hate yourself for not being able to stop her. I got mad at my boyfriend. I burned his clothes and threw rats in his car and slapped him stupid but you..."

Her tone softened, as did her face.

"You're just... sad. You just want your baby. You've been stabbed in the back and betrayed in one of the worst ways possible but it's just made you kind."

She kissed me then, softly, meaningfully, just for a few seconds. It was the best thing I'd felt in a long time.

"When was the last time you let someone love you?"

I shook my head. I couldn't remember.

She crawled into my lap and wrapped her arms around my head, pulling me into her chest ans stroking my hair.

"I don't blame you for wanting to do what you're planning on doing, but I think what you saw, the other little girl with the happy parents and the name... I think that was a premonition, not a memory. I know that book, it's a list of the people who've thrown themselves away here, like I was considering doing after what my boyfriend did. Emotions like that, that drive people to do that, they collect here. At least I think they do. I think it felt you, and I think it tried to help. Because like you, all that sadness has made it kind."

I said nothing, instead just taking comfort in her embrace.

"Before you do this, just take a moment. Just one. Think about all you're giving up. All the other little girls and boys who could call you dad. The woman who will call you husband. Your family's faces at the funeral. Please? For me?"

I couldn't deny her that. I wouldn't deny her that. I nodded into her chest.

"Good."